going back to where it all began

One of the first steps in schema therapy is go back to where it all began.  It's a exercise in remembering - taking yourself back in time to trawl for memories of experiences coloured by the core feelings of your schema. So for me its the fundamental feelings of shame and deprivation.  when I first read about this exercise in Reinventing Your Life, a few childhood memories came to mind.  To do the exercise you focus on the memory, go through it in as much detail as you can, feel all the emotions it brings up and stay with them.  Essentially you are taking yourself back to be that child again.  Then you tap into your adult self to comfort and reassure your child self.  The book suggests one way of faciliating this is writing in the voice of the child in your non-dominant hand, then writing the response of the adult in your dominant hand.  I have done this with three memories now and below is the first one.  The first paragraph is narrative of the memory, the second (italics) is the child and the third paragraph is the adult.

'My mother went away, overseas on holiday for a few months.  My sister, brother and I stayed at home with my father.  I'm not sure how old I was, probably about 8.  Thinking back this was obviously distressing for me.  One morning, instead of going to school, I went to our local church.  I sat in the back rows and cried.  I remember the violence of my sobs.  I sat outside the confessional boxes, where usually a priest sat inside.  I was hoping he would appear and comfort me.  It was the only place I thought to go to get comfort.

I want my mummy.  Why isn't she here?
Please help me.  Please hold me.

Come here, give me a hug.  A big cuddle.  Let's just sit.  If you want to tell me about it, you do that.  Otherwise let's just sit here and cuddle.  You're okay.  You just feel a bit scared.  It's okay.  I'll look after you.  You just tell me when you're scared or you need some help.  I'll look after you.'